my first time appreciating a lamp instead of an overhead light

i thought writing a theory would absolve me from myself. i disregarded the intellectual within this, it is a way to escape the physical. just like how dancing is a form of prerecorded genetic patterns. i am returning to the diary (dairy) state.

may I be so lucky enough to continue to bear witness of the physical expression of my pain through others’ desire to control it. this is a prayer to an ongoing conduit, neither of or not of. a question would be too reductive.

my glass of wine, a talisman, a cigarette pack as a wallet, may these things define the immediacy, and dissipate as need be. a rooftop could answer the question that needn’t ever be asked

thank you elliott smith